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claycalv

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claycalv
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1552
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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claycalv's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

#185053
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16365) - you deserved it (58879)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

#181468
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96947) - you deserved it (4091)

On 03/02/2009 at 8:38am - work - by fittingroompotty (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, whom I was madly in love with, by having a plane fly over her house spelling "Marry me Abby?". After seeing this, she locked herself in her room and cried for 4 hours exclaiming that this wasn't how she wanted to be proposed to. I had invited my entire family. FML

#175270
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88525) - you deserved it (9572)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:41pm - love - by groomfail (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

#170978
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40279) - you deserved it (132818)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52064) - you deserved it (13674)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

#165039
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17669) - you deserved it (116654)

On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I got a 31% on a Chinese test at school. I moved here to New Jersey from China two months ago. FML

#161990
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52037) - you deserved it (16463)

On 02/28/2009 at 3:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML

#153350
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54289) - you deserved it (4396)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML

#151604
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41327) - you deserved it (12823)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ackbar (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

#150793
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43958) - you deserved it (12976)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:58am - love - by hellosaila (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

#117948
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38742) - you deserved it (5938)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57971) - you deserved it (2731)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML

#109739
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7754) - you deserved it (42426)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:09pm - misc - by Sh.H (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75502) - you deserved it (4479)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents met my boyfriends parents for the first time. Bailing us out of jail. FML

#108333
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13058) - you deserved it (52439)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by DB (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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