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claw96

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claw96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 29 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 122
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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claw96's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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claw96's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you deserved it (1629)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

#19777133
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24739) - you deserved it (1719)

On 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22066) - you deserved it (6140)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

#19572629
269 comments

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10970) - you deserved it (27119)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35225) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (7207)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43362) - you deserved it (6405)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML

#16556165
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50240) - you deserved it (3445)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46016) - you deserved it (4206)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45490) - you deserved it (19090)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (3702)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

#13805619
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (2585)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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