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claw96's FML badges
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
claw96's favorite FMLs
Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Missusluv313 / 09/17/2012 at 7:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML
by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm / United States / Money
by Eragons_Mommy92 / 05/04/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Money
by Optimus_Prime97 / 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm / United States / Money
by zobara / 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm / Switzerland / Money
by brownunderwear / 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by squishylog / 08/12/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I found out my mom has notebooks with lists of everything she has bought for me ever since I was born. Apparently she is going to make me pay her back for all the money she spent on me once I'm an adult. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Money
by greenchan / 02/25/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
by Username / 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…