claudiame

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claudiame

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 February 1981 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7732
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About claudiame : Mom of two little boys. I love to start my morning with FML

claudiame's page activity

Visits<b>Jordan_McD124</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:20pm<b>mathen</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 3:51am<b>dacho</b> - the 10/17/2010 at 8:08pm<b>churchitup</b> - the 07/16/2010 at 5:57pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 3:20am

claudiame's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

claudiame's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

by Andrew / 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

by randa / 04/19/2011 at 2:38am / Kids

Today, my sister told me she didn’t want me in her wedding pictures because I looked fat in my bridesmaid's dress. FML

by samikai523 / 04/18/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

by -_- / 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got chickenpox. I'm 28 and having chickenpox as an adult is excruciatingly painful. When I told my boss I wasn't going to be at work today because of chickenpox he replied, "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. Adults don't get chickenpox." He then fired me. FML

by Pox / 02/03/2011 at 10:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

by Disgusted / 02/03/2011 at 9:14pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML

by theyreallydosmell / 02/03/2011 at 7:59pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

by Embarrassed / 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm / Intimacy

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

by moxy / 01/24/2011 at 10:00am / Transportation

Today, my husband has been painting our house all weekend and plans to finish the job after work today. I decided to surprise him by completing the job myself. Painting the last window frame, I dropped the open tin of white paint, right onto our car roof. FML

by Llaurin / 01/24/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Transportation

Today, I was driving to a blind date my friend set me up on. Feeling pretty excited, I started singing to Katy Perry. I look over to see a man laughing at me, I flipped him the bird and drove off. Little did I know, he was my date. FML

by unknown / 01/24/2011 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

by andifalls / 01/24/2011 at 12:11am / Intimacy