Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

claudiame

Search for a member

claudiame

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 February 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5041
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About claudiame : Mom of two little boys. I love to start my morning with FML

claudiame's page activity

Visits<b>mathen</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 3:51am<b>dacho</b> - the 10/17/2010 at 8:08pm<b>churchitup</b> - the 07/16/2010 at 5:57pm

claudiame's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

claudiame's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

#15858919
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44361) - you deserved it (10284)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

#15843459
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36928) - you deserved it (15399)

On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -

Today, my sister told me she didn’t want me in her wedding pictures because I looked fat in my bridesmaid's dress. FML

#15835371
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43143) - you deserved it (7354)

On 04/18/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by samikai523 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46085) - you deserved it (15407)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

#15538339
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33323) - you deserved it (4803)

On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54744) - you deserved it (27492)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got chickenpox. I'm 28 and having chickenpox as an adult is excruciatingly painful. When I told my boss I wasn't going to be at work today because of chickenpox he replied, "That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. Adults don't get chickenpox." He then fired me. FML

#14832801
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38294) - you deserved it (2599)

On 02/03/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Pox (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

#14831620
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26797) - you deserved it (9541)

On 02/03/2011 at 9:14pm - animals - by Disgusted - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML

#14830455
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22538) - you deserved it (2644)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by theyreallydosmell -

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36596) - you deserved it (6068)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

#14696721
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7772) - you deserved it (58245)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -

Today, my husband has been painting our house all weekend and plans to finish the job after work today. I decided to surprise him by completing the job myself. Painting the last window frame, I dropped the open tin of white paint, right onto our car roof. FML

#14696653
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20688) - you deserved it (9473)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by Llaurin (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was driving to a blind date my friend set me up on. Feeling pretty excited, I started singing to Katy Perry. I look over to see a man laughing at me, I flipped him the bird and drove off. Little did I know, he was my date. FML

#14695021
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11737) - you deserved it (32424)

On 01/24/2011 at 3:08am - love - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

#14694705
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39212) - you deserved it (2710)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

#14693370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32442) - you deserved it (3053)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: