Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

claudiame

Search for a member

claudiame
  • Town/Country : Hope Mills , USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 February 1981 (33 years)
  • Number of visits : 4351
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About claudiame : Mom of two little boys. I love to start my morning with FML

claudiame's last visitors

churchitup

claudiame's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

claudiame's favorite FMLs

Today, I got married. About five minutes after I got my huge wedding dress on, I had to pee. It took three people to help me not pee on my dress, and my bridesmaids took pictures. FML

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7034) - you deserved it (98287)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML

#18210468
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28236) - you deserved it (5514)

On 11/10/2011 at 2:20pm - work - by ToInsecure4me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38893) - you deserved it (3511)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56335) - you deserved it (4484)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39069) - you deserved it (5894)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (4066)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

#17417744
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47733) - you deserved it (4468)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by the2girls - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

#17417239
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54751) - you deserved it (5496)

On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States

Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML

#17416952
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40530) - you deserved it (7558)

On 08/09/2011 at 9:48am - work - by Lauren - Australia (South Australia)

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

#17415009
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (2318)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

#17414090
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50876) - you deserved it (4316)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML

#17413127
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (6241)

On 08/08/2011 at 11:43pm - misc - by me - United States

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

#17410703
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (13785)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Kathryn - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: