claudiame

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claudiame

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 February 1981 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8119
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About claudiame : Mom of two little boys. I love to start my morning with FML

claudiame's page activity

Visits<b>Jordan_McD124</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:20pm<b>mathen</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 3:51am<b>dacho</b> - the 10/17/2010 at 8:08pm<b>churchitup</b> - the 07/16/2010 at 5:57pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 3:20am

claudiame's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

claudiame's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

by CA19oo / 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

by desperate905 / 02/21/2012 at 3:10am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

by bloodshedblack / 02/21/2012 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML

by Carpet cleaner / 02/20/2012 at 9:15pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

by Gothicbunnyx3 / 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

by stainseverywhere / 02/01/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

by anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

by ericane27 / 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

by themuffinman / 12/27/2011 at 10:15am / Japan / Health

Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

by Anon / 11/14/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 9:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 4:27am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work