Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

claudiame

Search for a member

claudiame

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 February 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5151
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About claudiame : Mom of two little boys. I love to start my morning with FML

claudiame's page activity

Visits<b>mathen</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 3:51am<b>dacho</b> - the 10/17/2010 at 8:08pm<b>churchitup</b> - the 07/16/2010 at 5:57pm

claudiame's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

claudiame's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to move back in with my dad and brother. After getting settled, I had to shower. I got everything ready and when I got in, it smelled strongly of pee. The stink was so intense I could barely breathe. Cleaning doesn't even help. I'm stuck here for at least a month. I hate living with men. FML

Today, I was at Wal-Mart and I asked a guy who worked there where the scrapbooking stuff was. He led me to the aisle where it was and then said, "By the way, I don't work here." FML

#13681370
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7862) - you deserved it (27008)

On 11/01/2010 at 10:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#13675980
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (3572)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29531) - you deserved it (8095)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

#13646131
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45266) - you deserved it (2706)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:33am - love - by Stephie2009 - United States

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

#13645625
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (37371)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:41am - love - by Samantha - United States (Washington)

Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML

#13645148
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32412) - you deserved it (4186)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by miss cranky pants - United States (California)

Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML

#13645028
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (9047)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:52am - misc - by snoozlagist (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work, I was caught picking my nose, on camera, in an elevator. The security guard stopped me on my way out of the building to tell me how funny it was. FML

#13644556
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8422) - you deserved it (26268)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:12am - work - by mortified (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

#13642352
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52017) - you deserved it (3872)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

#13640932
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29673) - you deserved it (5348)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

#13638786
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38162) - you deserved it (2210)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

#13636606
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26710) - you deserved it (11629)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:17am - kids - by mrtut (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, I texted my dad and told him I was getting married in five months. His reply: "I gotta work that day." FML

#13636513
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (3244)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:02am - misc - by Kristinmarsh08 - United States (Texas)

Today, at an Aunt's wake, my five year old son walked up to the coffin, and, with the whole family around him, exclaimed, "Well that's good, I was wondering where she's been." FML

#13635730
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (3062)

On 10/29/2010 at 4:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: