Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

claudiame

Search for a member

claudiame

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 February 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4917
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About claudiame : Mom of two little boys. I love to start my morning with FML

claudiame's page activity

Visits<b>mathen</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 3:51am<b>dacho</b> - the 10/17/2010 at 8:08pm<b>churchitup</b> - the 07/16/2010 at 5:57pm

claudiame's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

claudiame's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a 7-hour plane flight. For 3 hours I had a bloody nose. When it finally stopped, I sneezed. It started to bleed again. FML

#19697122
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24086) - you deserved it (1685)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:14am - health - by Ella - United States

Today, I came to the realisation that the longest relationship I've had by far is the one I have with my hemorrhoids. FML

#19694480
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15768) - you deserved it (2703)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:17pm - health - by Phil (man) - Canada

Today, I went to Busch Gardens. Trying to cool off, I got on a ride that soaked me to the bone. For the rest of the time I was there, my bra was visible through my clothes, along with the "Hell Yeah" printed on my underwear. FML

#19688596
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7885) - you deserved it (31546)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by taylortotscx - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (2273)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (1806)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30186) - you deserved it (3068)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30486) - you deserved it (1913)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

#19569891
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (1572)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

#19324505
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27210) - you deserved it (3551)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

#19324348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24996) - you deserved it (6112)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (6299)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9958) - you deserved it (61260)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

#19320303
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25911) - you deserved it (1964)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Username - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: