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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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claudiame

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claudiame
  • Town/Country : Hope Mills , USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 February 1981 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 1439
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About claudiame : Mom of two little boys. I love to start my morning with FML

claudiame's last visitors

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claudiame's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (7122) - you deserved it (1229)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

#18626777 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (12056) - you deserved it (784)

On 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590 (305)

I agree, your life sucks (9564) - you deserved it (1454)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

#18623921 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (7182) - you deserved it (838)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:15am - health - by themuffinman (man) - Japan

Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

#18567252 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (7931) - you deserved it (1521)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (19667) - you deserved it (1860)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

#18226728 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (9032) - you deserved it (1919)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (6948) - you deserved it (669)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got married. About five minutes after I got my huge wedding dress on, I had to pee. It took three people to help me not pee on my dress, and my bridesmaids took pictures. FML

#18225730 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (7716) - you deserved it (3070)

On 11/12/2011 at 3:30am - love - by summinay - United States (Tennessee)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (25396) - you deserved it (4608)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676 (395)

I agree, your life sucks (5841) - you deserved it (69018)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML

#18210468 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (23535) - you deserved it (4138)

On 11/10/2011 at 2:20pm - work - by ToInsecure4me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (31582) - you deserved it (2523)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad in her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358 (617)

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (1325)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (32495) - you deserved it (4291)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)