About clarissee : hello follow my tumblr?
About clarissee : hello follow my tumblr?
clarissee's FML badges
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clarissee's favorite FMLs
Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
by littlemiss / 02/10/2013 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
by screwed / 02/10/2013 at 5:41am / United States / Work
Today, my roommate found an eviction notice on our door for unpaid rent. Our apartment building caught fire and we haven't been living there for well over a month because it was legally unlivable. Today was our first day back. FML
by fireenginemad / 02/10/2013 at 1:08am / United States (Washington) / Money
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML
by Totallyscrewed / 02/10/2013 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, my furnace broke down, almost a month after its twenty year warranty expired. It would have been replaced for free. Now I'm going to have to take out a loan to afford the $4,000 replacement. FML
by chillyinside / 02/10/2013 at 12:03am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Holidays
Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML
by mhmm... cumsquats / 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm / Belgium (Brabant) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML
by UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh / 02/09/2013 at 12:21pm / Kenya / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML
by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 11:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML
by sonnyrosa / 02/09/2013 at 7:39am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by katelynm / 02/08/2013 at 1:24am / United States / Love