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clarepetty

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 9:26am) | Search for a member

clarepetty

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  • Number of visits : 354
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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clarepetty's page activity

Visits<b>TheShadyMilkman</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 11:34am<b>whaleninjamaster</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 5:13pm<b>9lashes</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 12:02am<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 7:55pm<b>klovemachine</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 1:39am<b>MrItalia</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 5:37am

clarepetty's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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clarepetty's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML

#20093112
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14709) - you deserved it (15202)

On 09/29/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by mustachioed (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (2910)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (4981)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (34915)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

#18715469
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28501) - you deserved it (5084)

On 01/05/2012 at 11:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33701) - you deserved it (5327)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

#18384979
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9744) - you deserved it (59989)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (10806)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

#17786304
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28016) - you deserved it (2606)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

#17694243
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:36am - money - by julesmommy - United States (Washington)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (4224)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

#16596385
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20771) - you deserved it (47641)

On 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm - love - by gabxoxo03 - United States (New York)

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

#16216813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9453) - you deserved it (46725)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:28am - intimacy - by paulwatson93 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37215) - you deserved it (4248)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

#15109555
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45428) - you deserved it (19069)

On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)



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