Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

clareobryan

Offline (the 06/07/2014 at 7:44pm) | Search for a member

clareobryan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 August 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1211
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About clareobryan : I like cats and Ostin.

clareobryan's page activity

Visits<b>1x1y</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:37am<b>k_gils</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 2:59pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:36am<b>michaelf461</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:26pm<b>happyapy</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:15pm<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 2:28am<b>creeperwindow</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 10:22pm<b>REALAfroninga</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 5:02pm<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:50pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:12pm<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 2:45pm<b>dreadbeat69</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:34pm<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 9:46pm<b>lamalie</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 3:00am<b>flufee2</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 5:25pm<b>arianaxoxo</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:50pm<b>bigredlickyjosh</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 6:25pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:06pm

clareobryan's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of clareobryan's badges

clareobryan's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29368) - you deserved it (3191)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16834) - you deserved it (54532)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12394) - you deserved it (52696)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25285) - you deserved it (2716)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45373) - you deserved it (5931) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29002) - you deserved it (6116)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25519) - you deserved it (2372)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16112) - you deserved it (4736)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (3172)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28716) - you deserved it (1622)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26142) - you deserved it (3030)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my annoying neighbor who used to spend hours playing the cello in the apartment below me finally moved out, I found out that I have a new musical neighbor moving in. This fellow plays the bagpipes. FML

#20067181
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21025) - you deserved it (2430)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:11am - misc - by PissedbythePiper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19201) - you deserved it (2605)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21890) - you deserved it (2917)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: