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clareobryan

Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 4:01pm) | Search for a member

clareobryan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1331
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About clareobryan : I like cats and Ostin.

clareobryan's page activity

Visits<b>1x1y</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:37am<b>k_gils</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 2:59pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:36am<b>michaelf461</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:26pm<b>happyapy</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:15pm<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 2:28am<b>creeperwindow</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 10:22pm<b>REALAfroninga</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 5:02pm<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:50pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:12pm<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 2:45pm<b>dreadbeat69</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:34pm<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 9:46pm<b>lamalie</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 3:00am<b>flufee2</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 5:25pm<b>arianaxoxo</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:50pm<b>bigredlickyjosh</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 6:25pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:06pm

clareobryan's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of clareobryan's badges

clareobryan's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (3198)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16858) - you deserved it (54603)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12416) - you deserved it (52756)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (2719)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45424) - you deserved it (5932) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29351) - you deserved it (6143)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (2376)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16158) - you deserved it (4747)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28798) - you deserved it (1626)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26222) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my annoying neighbor who used to spend hours playing the cello in the apartment below me finally moved out, I found out that I have a new musical neighbor moving in. This fellow plays the bagpipes. FML

#20067181
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21075) - you deserved it (2434)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:11am - misc - by PissedbythePiper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19254) - you deserved it (2609)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

#20003299
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (2952)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States



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