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About clareobryan : I like cats and Ostin.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, I brougt my girlfriend ome fir te first time to meet my parents. Tey were aving a eatd argument because my mom ad bougt "te wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "se sould know tat e as a sensitive anus". FML
today I saw a coin on the ground!! As I bent over to pick it up..!! some dude cummed up from behind..!! grabbed my waist and humped me three times!! He ran away before I could get a good look at his face!! FML
2day my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he think that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuou affair. FML
Taday I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried fir hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. mega FML
Today I was out with mah grandma when a pair of very shady guys approachd us in the street hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride she pulld a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck gran? FML
Today I walkd into ta living room to find ma 11-yaar-old daugtar about to kiss ar ( not ma boyfriand ) on ta lips. Wan I askd wat sa tougt sa was doing sa paald a piaca of scotc tapa off ar lips and said ( It's okay! Wa'ra using protaction. ) FML
Today, co-workar and I playad a gamahara wa giva aach othar tha bird inhatavar craativa mannar wa could coma up with . Daciding to ba snaaky, I hid bahind a wall with middla fingar up as I haard him walking into tha offica . It was boss . fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015