Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

clareobryan

Offline (the 06/07/2014 at 7:44pm) | Search for a member

clareobryan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 August 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1208
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About clareobryan : I like cats and Ostin.

clareobryan's page activity

Visits<b>1x1y</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:37am<b>k_gils</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 2:59pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 9:36am<b>michaelf461</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:26pm<b>happyapy</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:15pm<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 2:28am<b>creeperwindow</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 10:22pm<b>REALAfroninga</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 5:02pm<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 6:50pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 3:12pm<b>regenerate</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 2:45pm<b>dreadbeat69</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:34pm<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 9:46pm<b>lamalie</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 3:00am<b>flufee2</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 5:25pm<b>arianaxoxo</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 7:50pm<b>bigredlickyjosh</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 6:25pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:06pm

clareobryan's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of clareobryan's badges

clareobryan's favorite FMLs

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43731) - you deserved it (3810)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36295) - you deserved it (12257)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32480) - you deserved it (6323)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46353) - you deserved it (3795)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38097) - you deserved it (3671)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56121) - you deserved it (9167)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42940) - you deserved it (7327)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38778) - you deserved it (6284)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35893) - you deserved it (2347)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

#20854246
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33306) - you deserved it (2744)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm - animals - by KatVanGogh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44357) - you deserved it (3158)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38452) - you deserved it (2727)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42340) - you deserved it (13649)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: