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cl4ptp
  • Town/Country : Swansea, United Kingdom
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 649
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cl4ptp : I'm crap at writing these things, feel free to message me :)

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cl4ptp's favorite FMLs

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35355) - you deserved it (7089)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4208) - you deserved it (14748)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18035) - you deserved it (3010)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35531) - you deserved it (4127)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9338) - you deserved it (21474)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (45254)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16747) - you deserved it (29761)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

#6003671
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27079) - you deserved it (2068)

On 10/26/2009 at 6:15am - misc - by Roida (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41358) - you deserved it (6466)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (4247)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, as a joke, my friends and I decided to put me in a dress and makeup, to creep out a friend. I'm a guy. I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I so willingly volunteered to wear the dress and the makeup, or the fact that I thought it was comfy and made me look slim. FML

#4402387
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11151) - you deserved it (48540)

On 08/09/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by twitch01 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML

#3115220
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51395) - you deserved it (6101)

On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79312) - you deserved it (19068)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

#1807200
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71673) - you deserved it (11380)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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