Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cl4ptp

Offline (the 02/27/2015 at 2:04am) | Search for a member

cl4ptp

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1369
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cl4ptp : I'm crap at writing these things, feel free to message me :)

cl4ptp's page activity

Visits<b>Zombinosh77</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:26pm<b>hardesty</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 6:59pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:26pm<b>cfende02</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:09am<b>ashkwalliy</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:39am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 1:00am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 9:38pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 7:53pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:09pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:57pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 11:57pm<b>kitkat3308</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:27am<b>weedxmanx420</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 3:38pm<b>chamay</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 8:02pm<b>Mshrodes</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:33pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:23am<b>ajax_united</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 1:48pm<b>xSwirll</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:26pm

Liked!<b>hardesty</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 1:00am

cl4ptp's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of cl4ptp's badges

cl4ptp's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45107) - you deserved it (5048)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

#17685496
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you deserved it (4832)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27615) - you deserved it (10209)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32003) - you deserved it (3061)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37450) - you deserved it (3285)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35223) - you deserved it (10032)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51344) - you deserved it (9860)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

#17335799
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25749) - you deserved it (5892)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by vsf - United States

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (3231)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (3231)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
464 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10580) - you deserved it (117991)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15371) - you deserved it (57102)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (5046)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39208) - you deserved it (24279)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69998) - you deserved it (6583)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: