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cl4ptp

Offline (the 09/22/2014 at 8:19pm) | Search for a member

cl4ptp

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1028
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cl4ptp : I'm crap at writing these things, feel free to message me :)

cl4ptp's page activity

Visits<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:26pm<b>cfende02</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:09am<b>ashkwalliy</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:39am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 1:00am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 9:38pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 7:53pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:09pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:57pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 11:57pm<b>kitkat3308</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:27am<b>weedxmanx420</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 3:38pm<b>chamay</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 8:02pm<b>Mshrodes</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:33pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:23am<b>ajax_united</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 1:48pm<b>xSwirll</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:26pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:35am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 3:23pm

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cl4ptp's favorite FMLs

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31093) - you deserved it (8573)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14787) - you deserved it (38458)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (3551)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

#19763325
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51044) - you deserved it (3229)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (3541)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (54794)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

#19496136
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37880) - you deserved it (5762)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33639) - you deserved it (3092)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (5547)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8387) - you deserved it (18958)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (7642)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (7642)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27479) - you deserved it (5423)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22348) - you deserved it (5654)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41034) - you deserved it (3180) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France



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