About cl4ptp : I'm crap at writing these things, feel free to message me :)
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You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32608) - you deserved it (20961)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19765) - you deserved it (5068)
On 01/11/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8550) - you deserved it (17600)
On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)
Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8477) - you deserved it (22612)
On 10/12/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34467) - you deserved it (7051)
On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML
I agree, your life sucks (4062) - you deserved it (14388)
On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17421) - you deserved it (2976)
On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (3270)
On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8570) - you deserved it (16881)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7259) - you deserved it (36873)
On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14747) - you deserved it (23699)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39614) - you deserved it (3777)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23726) - you deserved it (1636)
On 10/26/2009 at 6:15am - misc - by Roida (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38312) - you deserved it (5393)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25973) - you deserved it (3491)
On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Monday 20 May 2013
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