About cl4ptp : I'm crap at writing these things, feel free to message me :)
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17207) - you deserved it (4870)
On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)
Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35604) - you deserved it (2799) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10028) - you deserved it (31077)
On 10/29/2011 at 7:32am - love - by duped (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37632) - you deserved it (3807)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you deserved it (3459)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States
Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20897) - you deserved it (7794)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25048) - you deserved it (2204)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30684) - you deserved it (2349)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (8924)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43325) - you deserved it (7600)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20047) - you deserved it (4448)
On 08/01/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by vsf - United States
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (2306)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (2306)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7468) - you deserved it (82732)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12048) - you deserved it (43486)
On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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