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cl4ptp

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 4:38am) | Search for a member

cl4ptp

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 881
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cl4ptp : I'm crap at writing these things, feel free to message me :)

cl4ptp's page activity

Visits<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:26pm<b>cfende02</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:09am<b>ashkwalliy</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:39am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 1:00am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 9:38pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 7:53pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:09pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:57pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 11:57pm<b>kitkat3308</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:27am<b>weedxmanx420</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 3:38pm<b>chamay</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 8:02pm<b>Mshrodes</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:33pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:23am<b>ajax_united</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 1:48pm<b>xSwirll</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:26pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:35am<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 3:23pm

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cl4ptp's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

#21107817
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (41731)

On 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by not a dumbass pothead (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (6244)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (38323)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36716) - you deserved it (12456)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56183) - you deserved it (9171)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47990) - you deserved it (17140)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22761) - you deserved it (44032)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60225) - you deserved it (4381)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28817) - you deserved it (48966)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56309) - you deserved it (6673)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44236) - you deserved it (32369) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

#20782097
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47928) - you deserved it (16525)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by peniswoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52392) - you deserved it (9088)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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