cl4ptp

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cl4ptp

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2203
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About cl4ptp : I'm crap at writing these things, feel free to message me :)

cl4ptp's page activity

Visits<b>Zombinosh77</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Fidge86</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:26pm<b>cfende02</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 12:09am<b>ashkwalliy</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:39am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 1:00am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 9:38pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 7:53pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:09pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 4:57pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 11:57pm<b>kitkat3308</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:27am<b>weedxmanx420</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 3:38pm<b>chamay</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 8:02pm<b>Mshrodes</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:33pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:23am<b>ajax_united</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 1:48pm<b>xSwirll</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:26pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:35am

cl4ptp's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of cl4ptp's badges

cl4ptp's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML

by Apcn / 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

by not a dumbass pothead / 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

by trp007 / 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

by Awkward / 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

by FootinMouth / 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

by peniswoman / 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Intimacy

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids