cjlerch

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Offline (the 10/27/2015 at 6:46am)

cjlerch

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 May 1977 (39 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4826
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 36 posted

About cjlerch : Things I hate:

- People who are overly optimistic
- People who don't respect privacy
- People who will do ANYTHING that they want, regardless of others
- People without a sense of humor
- People who can't take sarcasm
- People who aren't grateful for anything, at all, ever (I'm looking at you, Stephen)
- People who act stupid because they think it's cute (It's not)
- People who annoy others because it's 'fun'
- People who think their way is the best way and no other way is good
- People in general
- Mosquitoes

cjlerch's page activity

Visits<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 12:34am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 1:04am<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 1:50pm<b>NDForever1</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 4:51pm<b>LeBandit</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Corgidan</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 8:14pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:58pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:09am<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:41am<b>DaBayst</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 6:00pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:17am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 12:13pm<b>tacotuesday1234</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:37pm<b>mval10</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:56pm<b>cwrocker</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:56pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 7:25pm<b>OohSheRatchet</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:30pm<b>chidexy</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:59pm

Fucked!<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 6:34am

cjlerch's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of cjlerch's badges

cjlerch's favorite FMLs

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

by notwhatithought / 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm / Cyprus (Paphos) / Work

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

by S to the HIT / 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found out there's a support page on Facebook for people who have been "hurt" by me. FML

by SupportPage / 03/31/2015 at 9:41am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

by Queensland / 10/18/2014 at 3:20am / Australia / Transportation

Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML

by Hi, I'm Heather / 09/30/2014 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2014 at 10:08am / United States / Transportation

Today, I saw a customer wandering around, looking confused. I went over and kindly asked if I could help him find anything. He said no, but that he'd help me find the teeth he'd knock out of my mouth if I didn't get lost. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

by d4rkxf0x / 07/22/2014 at 11:54am / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Kids