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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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cjd2897

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cjd2897
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 161
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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cjd2897's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

#17245235 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (1522)

On 07/24/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (29465) - you deserved it (3739)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

#16447532 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (18085) - you deserved it (8108)

On 06/01/2011 at 3:39am - animals - by Lifeless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

#14164412 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (45856)

On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

#13227031 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (6631) - you deserved it (19930)

On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (11186) - you deserved it (17398)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML

#12657778 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (13535) - you deserved it (20173)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at my friend's house, I noticed her brother had a bit of an accent. I laughingly said "Is it me or does your little brother have an accent?" She stared and replied with "No, he has autism." FML

#12473698 (212)

I agree, your life sucks (9915) - you deserved it (29744)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by kggggg - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (17391) - you deserved it (19821)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (5965) - you deserved it (15955)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

#7591761 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (37768) - you deserved it (11332)

On 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (19353) - you deserved it (1988)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (33292) - you deserved it (2311)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

#6108981 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (23510) - you deserved it (9152)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Oops (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

#5699307 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (25242) - you deserved it (8321)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:13am - misc - by shitballs_911 (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)