cj89898

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Offline (the 12/05/2016 at 9:05am)

cj89898

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 May 2000 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 437
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cj89898 : I like computers and dislike bullshit.

cj89898's page activity

Visits<b>argnog</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 6:04pm<b>jordynMKD</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 4:17am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 6:11pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 7:54am<b>buttcrackles</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 10:06am<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 7:09pm<b>Stigmamma</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 9:16pm<b>beachbum561fla</b> - the 09/26/2016 at 2:22am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 12:18pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 10:08am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 5:17pm<b>rightlessonwrong</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 12:32pm<b>DrHothead</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 7:07pm<b>nena_kievu</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 5:14pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 9:22pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:00pm<b>llamadramas</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 12:01pm<b>BluePenguin1001</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:50am

Fucked!<b>Markie_Carolyn</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:13pm

cj89898's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

See all of cj89898's badges

cj89898's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

by emeraldarcher74 / 11/19/2016 at 1:34pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML

by StarDust5921 / 10/03/2016 at 9:55pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my girlfriend tried to hook me up with a guy. It's the second time it happened since I met her. FML

by DrawingWaves / 09/27/2016 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

by Gas-pingForAir / 09/19/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I found out that apparently the pipes for my toilet were never connected, so anything you flush just falls out onto the basement floor downstairs. I've lived here 4 years. FML

by Loose Ends / 09/14/2016 at 7:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 4:38am / Intimacy

Today, a pharmacist slut-shamed me for taking birth control. I'm still a virgin, and I only take those pills to help with my acne and period cramps. FML

by CyberPsycho / 08/19/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML

by Epithymia / 08/15/2016 at 11:09am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health

Today, I went on a date with a guy who told me his main aim in life is to live alone in an isolated lighthouse. FML

by datingfail / 08/14/2016 at 8:06am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, what was meant to be a fun hour-long paddle with a friend turned into a 5 hour ordeal involving a coast guard helicopter, an ambulance, a hospital visit and a ruined canoe. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 6:02pm / Health

Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML

by Confession / 05/15/2016 at 10:07pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML

by not telling you my name / 08/07/2015 at 11:16am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

by mhm / 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

by one_BAMF / 07/25/2010 at 1:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Health