cj89898

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cj89898

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 May 2000 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 303
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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cj89898's page activity

Visits<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 5:17pm<b>rightlessonwrong</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 12:32pm<b>DrHothead</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 7:07pm<b>nena_kievu</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 5:14pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:04pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 9:22pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:00pm<b>llamadramas</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 12:01pm<b>BluePenguin1001</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:50am<b>rhymehoardhh</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:08am<b>SirPringles</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:11am<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 3:15am<b>campbelllp</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 4:12pm<b>Dave_Davington</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 6:53am<b>umerin</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 9:55pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:47am

Fucked!<b>Markie_Carolyn</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:13pm

cj89898's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of cj89898's badges

cj89898's favorite FMLs

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

by longest minute / 05/25/2016 at 7:28am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML

by Confession / 05/15/2016 at 10:07pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML

by dempasi / 05/06/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom called me in a panic because someone had hacked my phone and was sending her evil faces. They were emojis I'd accidentally butt-dialed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 9:07pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

by Dipping Tired / 04/20/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, while walking down the street I thought it would be funny to moon a crowd of old people taking a photo, in a few seconds a couple of them started pointing in my direction... Turns out they were pointing at the car that ran me over shortly after. FML

by MasterMcrib / 04/17/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I wasn't going to be a father. My best friend is going to be the father to my girlfriend's child, though. FML

by zefronke8 / 04/17/2016 at 2:01pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend called condoms the "biggest scam in history" and said I won't get pregnant if I just wash myself out with vinegar after we finish. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2016 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML

by Anthony / 04/14/2016 at 7:15pm / France / Intimacy

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

by fuck / 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy