cj89898

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Offline (the 09/23/2016 at 12:36am)

cj89898

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 May 2000 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 373
  • Number of comments : 63
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cj89898 : I like computers and dislike bullshit. Also, homework is a thing I dislike...

cj89898's page activity

Visits<b>beachbum561fla</b> - 22 hours ago<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 12:18pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 10:08am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 5:17pm<b>rightlessonwrong</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 12:32pm<b>DrHothead</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 7:07pm<b>nena_kievu</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 5:14pm<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 9:22pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:00pm<b>llamadramas</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 12:01pm<b>BluePenguin1001</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:50am<b>rhymehoardhh</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 10:08am<b>SirPringles</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:11am<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 3:15am<b>campbelllp</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 4:12pm<b>Dave_Davington</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 6:53am<b>umerin</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 9:55pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:47am

Fucked!<b>Markie_Carolyn</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 10:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 2:13pm

cj89898's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of cj89898's badges

cj89898's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

by Gas-pingForAir / 09/19/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 4:38am / Intimacy

Today, a pharmacist slut-shamed me for taking birth control. I'm still a virgin, and I only take those pills to help with my acne and period cramps. FML

by CyberPsycho / 08/19/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML

by Epithymia / 08/15/2016 at 11:09am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health

Today, I went on a date with a guy who told me his main aim in life is to live alone in an isolated lighthouse. FML

by datingfail / 08/14/2016 at 8:06am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, what was meant to be a fun hour-long paddle with a friend turned into a 5 hour ordeal involving a coast guard helicopter, an ambulance, a hospital visit and a ruined canoe. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 6:02pm / Health

Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML

by Confession / 05/15/2016 at 10:07pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML

by not telling you my name / 08/07/2015 at 11:16am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, my loving boyfriend told me that he wanted to go to the cinema with the girl he loves. The other girl he loves, but don't worry it's "not" a date. FML

by Squishy / 08/22/2010 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Love

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

by one_BAMF / 07/25/2010 at 1:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy