About cj89898 : I like computers and dislike bullshit.
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The Thumb returns
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
cj89898's favorite FMLs
by emeraldarcher74 / 11/19/2016 at 1:34pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
by StarDust5921 / 10/03/2016 at 9:55pm / United States (New York) / Work
by DrawingWaves / 09/27/2016 at 6:36pm / United States (California) / Love
by Gas-pingForAir / 09/19/2016 at 4:59am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by Loose Ends / 09/14/2016 at 7:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML
by CyberPsycho / 08/19/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML
by Epithymia / 08/15/2016 at 11:09am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health
by datingfail / 08/14/2016 at 8:06am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML
by Confession / 05/15/2016 at 10:07pm / Belgium / Animals
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML
by not telling you my name / 08/07/2015 at 11:16am / United States (Indiana) / Work
by mhm / 05/05/2012 at 10:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by one_BAMF / 07/25/2010 at 1:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Health