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cj84

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cj84

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  • Number of visits : 135
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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cj84's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57222) - you deserved it (6782)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35312) - you deserved it (3647)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47934) - you deserved it (2910)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47630) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47309) - you deserved it (5704)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50366) - you deserved it (4840)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (6589)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44670) - you deserved it (3896)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

#19844489
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20704) - you deserved it (2505)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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