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Offline (the 03/09/2014 at 9:25am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 599
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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citytown's page activity

Visits<b>persianninja</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:24pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Beaus1966</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 7:27pm<b>dimerneckel</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:35pm<b>TypeBbitch</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 9:42pm<b>misterspock</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 6:25pm

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citytown's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend wanted to see what my new boyfriend looks like. By chance, he'd sent me a Snapchat a few minutes before, so I opened it to show her, only to see that it was a dick pic. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

by say no to dick / 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm 25 years old, I've got an education and I only now found out in front of 15 people that, no, sparrows are not small pigeons that are going to grow up. FML

by pablito / 04/17/2014 at 6:37am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

by fuckyouharddad / 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

by Jaime / 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

by oops / 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 1:14am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

by skrumpp / 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm / Miscellaneous

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

by cat whisperer / 03/20/2014 at 12:31am / United States / Animals

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

by holyshitsnacks / 03/18/2014 at 6:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2014 at 5:34am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

by tayymeds / 03/12/2014 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids