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chudun's FML badges
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chudun's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML
by Dnamei / 03/22/2016 at 10:17am / Belgium / Miscellaneous
Today, I passed out. I fell to the hardwood floor, cut my chin, and bit through my lip. Fortunately, my brother was there to help stop the bleeding and get me some water. All I had to do was wait until he finished his game of Call of Duty. FML
by jami898 / 08/18/2015 at 12:30am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by superscript / 02/17/2015 at 10:40pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was short on money for bills, so I pulled out my alto saxophone, knowing that no matter how much I loved it, I'd be able pay my rent with the money. As I pulled it out of its case, the neck strap broke and I dropped it, breaking the bell beyond repair. Now I'm poor AND depressed. FML
by clumsyandpoor / 12/02/2014 at 11:05pm / United States (South Dakota) / Money
Today, I was replaced in the symphony I play in. I play the clarinet, and a standard symphony only uses two, so getting into one can be quite competitive. My conductor's reasoning? "I was sure you were going to college." I never mentioned college to him, other than saying I wasn't going. FML
by Ozomulsion / 09/08/2014 at 1:53am / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
by PoeticPathetic / 04/15/2014 at 10:28pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML
by oops / 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML
by Bandking / 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by fuck off, eh! / 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by took it / 02/09/2014 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
by noway / 01/03/2014 at 6:03am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Kids
by FMLPLZ / 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Rumors / 12/12/2013 at 6:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual…