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Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17177) - you totally deserved it (50782)
On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)
Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you totally deserved it (3559)
On 07/16/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by joking0303 (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31182) - you totally deserved it (2615)
On 07/16/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by kewlcat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59658) - you totally deserved it (1919)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48599) - you totally deserved it (7832)
On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35500) - you totally deserved it (4595)
On 07/14/2009 at 4:55am - misc - by doggone (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13080) - you totally deserved it (54526)
On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)
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