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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
christinaisg's favorite FMLs
by vegas-81 / 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm / France / Intimacy
by Sad Student / 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by LarissaT18 / 02/02/2014 at 11:13am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm / United Kingdom (Wrexham) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm / Puerto Rico / Love
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by MommyProblems / 01/19/2014 at 12:17am / United States / Kids
by sausages / 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm / Macedonia (Karpos) / Health
Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML
by rholt / 01/14/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML
by lukas / 01/10/2014 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy