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Today, I went on a walk with the guy I like. He held my hand, so I decided to tell him that I had feelings for him. He said that he had feelings for me too. I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. He put his hand on my face and pushed it away, and said "until your acne clears, we are NOT together." FML
I agree, your life sucks (130417) - you totally deserved it (11788)
On 03/07/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I proceeded to ask what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46548) - you totally deserved it (2289)
On 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm - work - by laurenmay (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (202268) - you totally deserved it (32340)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting "we have a problem!". Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage & half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you totally deserved it (6156)
On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to make a family tree for one of my classes. When I was going through it, I realized that both my parents have the same last name. So, I asked them about it and they told me that they are second cousins. FML
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On 03/04/2009 at 3:52am - misc - by fam_surprise (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML
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On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year old daughter from her room texts me, "Stop." FML
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On 03/03/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by dad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregant, she replied by saying "is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33244) - you totally deserved it (11166)
On 03/03/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by booyouwhoree (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML
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On 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm - money - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33082) - you totally deserved it (8287)
On 03/02/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by himtopia19 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmothers wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
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On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I got my braces on. When we got in the car my dad looked over and said "well at least we dont have to worry about boys for the next two years." FML
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On 03/01/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by jajaja (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, silettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. Im grounded. FML
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On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my fiancee broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML
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On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After saying my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last words. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML
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On 02/28/2009 at 2:55am - love - by Not so quick getaway. (woman) - United States (Virginia)
