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Offline (the 10/06/2016 at 6:03pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3161
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About christge1beast : I'm a rather interesting person I'd like to think. I enjoy meeting new people. I come off as shy and quiet, but once you get to know me I can be quite the opposite.

christge1beast's page activity

Visits<b>bisousmaddie</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 1:56pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:10am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:14pm<b>MysticAmmu</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:04pm<b>xcllla_</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:13am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:37pm<b>DMA0712</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:40pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 4:13am<b>ForbbidenSky</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 4:13am<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 5:54pm<b>GEFStryker</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 4:50pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 6:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 1:01am<b>yoitsbeau</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:30pm<b>TeenDragCarm5sos</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:24pm<b>queen2016</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:34am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 1:44pm

christge1beast's FML badges


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christge1beast's favorite FMLs

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

by BrefODM / 06/12/2014 at 11:15pm / United Kingdom / Health

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

by AndrewKeane / 06/09/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

by jonchavez / 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

by clueless / 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally brought a girl home from college. While I was making her some coffee, my roommate came down in her underwear, pretended to be my girlfriend, and asked if we were having a threesome. My date left before I could explain, and my roommate thinks it's fucking hilarious. FML

by GimmeLaCoffee / 05/15/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

by assgoblins piss me off / 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had just sat down in the lobby of my doctor's office when my phone alerted me that I had a friend request. I checked; it was from some girl from high school. I muttered to myself, "I don't want to be your friend." I then heard a gasp. She was sitting across from me. FML

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

by Nose bleed / 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

by oops / 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Love