About christge1beast : I am a German born US citizen. I like parkour, and film making I like rappelling. I occasionally comment but I'm more of a reader. FML has a mind of its own and won't put my correct birthday which is 03/06/96. I like meeting new people. If anyone wants to chat text my textplus at 540-808-2321. My kik is chrisazarian.
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Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9444) - you deserved it (54579)
On 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm - love - by douchegamer - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37935) - you deserved it (14838)
On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States
Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (5893)
On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (2494)
On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (2516)
On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32093) - you deserved it (3183)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I went to use the restroom. I looked down at the toilet, and saw blood smeared all over the seat, as well as several dirty tampons in the floor. I confronted my girlfriend about the mess, only for her to reply with, "Well, what'd you expect? You live with a woman now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38056) - you deserved it (3237)
On 02/26/2013 at 1:29am - health - by GrossedOut (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (5911)
On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (2096)
Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25518) - you deserved it (3768)
On 02/24/2013 at 12:48am - love - by great_just_great (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out and threatened to get a restraining order after I called him an asshole. I'm 16 weeks pregnant and over 1,000 miles away from my parents' house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30438) - you deserved it (6363)
On 02/23/2013 at 8:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4978) - you deserved it (32867)
On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22818) - you deserved it (5391)
On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5910) - you deserved it (35051)
On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38783) - you deserved it (3647)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 20 May 2013
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