About christge1beast : I am a German born US citizen. I like parkour, and film making I like rappelling. I occasionally comment but I'm more of a reader. FML has a mind of its own and won't put my correct birthday which is 03/06/96. I like meeting new people. If anyone wants to chat text my textplus at 540-808-2321. My kik is chrisazarian.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7994) - you deserved it (30546)
On 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15444) - you deserved it (923)
On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11936) - you deserved it (1795)
On 09/25/2012 at 8:13am - misc - by oreoblizzard619 (man) - United States
Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12908) - you deserved it (1366)
On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16963) - you deserved it (908)
On 09/23/2012 at 4:14am - misc - by Hairless freak - United States (California)
Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16023) - you deserved it (1116)
On 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm - work - by Annette (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17117) - you deserved it (16435)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5529) - you deserved it (13462)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20000) - you deserved it (4783)
On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (3798)
On 08/06/2012 at 2:37am - love - by shastadoe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16517) - you deserved it (3123)
On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States
Today, I went on an overnight airplane flight. I wanted to be comfy so I took off my shorts, threw a blanket over myself, and slept. When the lights came back on, I ran to the bathroom before they served food. After using the bathroom, I noticed I hadn't put my shorts back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4503) - you deserved it (25565)
Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20649) - you deserved it (1461)
On 07/22/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by XxFA1LxX - Canada (Alberta)
Today, some friends told me that my natural body odor smells like cooked beef and roasted onions. I'm disgustingly delicious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13014) - you deserved it (2661)
On 07/22/2012 at 2:34am - health - by hungry? - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my cousin is coming home after his honeymoon. His gift to his new wife was a puppy, which I said I would take care of while they went away. I sneezed last week and scared the puppy. She ran off. This was ten days ago, and I still haven't found the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17520) - you deserved it (6368)
On 07/22/2012 at 12:24am - animals - by whymegirl - United States (Massachusetts)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
