Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

christge1beast

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

christge1beast

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2071
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About christge1beast : I'm a rather interesting person I'd like to think. I enjoy meeting new people. I come off as shy and quiet, but once you get to know me I can be quite the opposite. I enjoy school, particularly physics and computer science.

christge1beast's page activity

Visits<b>MysticAmmu</b> - yesterday at 9:04pm<b>xcllla_</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:13am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:37pm<b>DMA0712</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:40pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 4:13am<b>ForbbidenSky</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 4:13am<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 5:54pm<b>GEFStryker</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 4:50pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 6:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 1:01am<b>yoitsbeau</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:30pm<b>TeenDragCarm5sos</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:24pm<b>queen2016</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:34am<b>grewal_cutie</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:16pm<b>rachilio</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:47pm<b>chefcow</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:34am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 1:44pm

christge1beast's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of christge1beast's badges

christge1beast's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33760) - you deserved it (4770)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29036) - you deserved it (3524)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (4685)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37094) - you deserved it (7778)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

#21422896
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (3037)

On 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

#21421640
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27482) - you deserved it (2637)

On 06/06/2015 at 3:32am - work - by justin bieber's nutsack (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29500) - you deserved it (5304)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (2304)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (2524)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (2493)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34218) - you deserved it (7698)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (2840)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

#21404933
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28034) - you deserved it (6017)

On 05/05/2015 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: