Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

christge1beast

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

christge1beast

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 920
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About christge1beast : I'm a rather interesting person I'd like to think. I enjoy meeting new people. I come off as shy and quiet, but once you get to know me I can be quite the opposite. I enjoy school, particularly physics and computer science.

christge1beast's page activity

Visits<b>T_Myles13</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:11pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:53am<b>liloso60</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:16pm<b>HyperFUSE</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:49pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 5:30pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 11:41pm<b>DWordHead16</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:18pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 5:19am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 3:34pm

christge1beast's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of christge1beast's badges

christge1beast's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24582) - you deserved it (2795)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

#21298962
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (2786)

On 11/14/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by shreking_bawl (man) - Norway

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (4367)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

#21295011
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (2814)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:36pm - misc - by ItGirl - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16269) - you deserved it (29595)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML

#21294499
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30057) - you deserved it (4071)

On 11/08/2014 at 2:36am - love - by sickyandiknowit - United States (Oregon)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35288) - you deserved it (2177)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (7784)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (11558)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32505) - you deserved it (4547)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41080) - you deserved it (5011)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31932) - you deserved it (3780)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15343) - you deserved it (23865)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28897) - you deserved it (7436)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (3570)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



Emily Chan's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Emily Chan's Illustrated FML
  • This week, we landed a spacecraft on a comet. Not FML, though. You've got to admit that the human brain is quite amazing when it comes to resources, creativity and inventing new ways to push things forward. On…

Friday 14 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: