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Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6212) - you deserved it (50658)
On 05/03/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by mylifesucks123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53445) - you deserved it (5551)
On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43840) - you deserved it (8378)
On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43840) - you deserved it (8378)
On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22544) - you deserved it (46585)
On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (30979)
On 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm - work - by Can't Spell Worth A Damn (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12012) - you deserved it (56139)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53415) - you deserved it (8612)
On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178277) - you deserved it (61509)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20601) - you deserved it (2121)
On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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