christa953

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christa953

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3102
  • Number of comments : 439
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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christa953's page activity

Visits<b>TheGamerXYZ</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 5:46pm<b>WolfsScar</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:29pm<b>Fiensmanland</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 10:59pm<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:23pm<b>PatriciaAra</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:06pm<b>majestic_banana</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 10:48pm<b>dancer_15234</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:35pm<b>Perfectly_Killer</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 9:27pm<b>deademolover</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:37pm<b>TheThirdi</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:38am<b>Daghost520</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:18pm<b>_TaylorL24</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:36am<b>niknakpattywak</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 11:24pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 6:32pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 3:55am<b>PhUk_My_LiFe</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 8:07pm<b>PyroTim</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 11:21am<b>TanyaCat</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 5:54am

christa953's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of christa953's badges

christa953's favorite FMLs

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

by Crappy / 04/11/2015 at 8:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

by looking4newvenue / 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

by goodbyediet / 01/30/2015 at 6:00am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Miscellaneous

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

by qyx3lmnop24 / 12/20/2014 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

by candy man / 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

by leastitwasntsurpriseanal / 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

by kirstyrd / 08/12/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

by sirphilmckraken / 08/08/2014 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

by me / 04/24/2014 at 11:32am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML