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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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christa953

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christa953
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 667
  • Number of comments : 419
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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christa953's favorite FMLs

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913 (15)

I agree, your life sucks (2777) - you deserved it (24248)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (20883) - you deserved it (2438)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML

#16148221 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (5687)

On 05/12/2011 at 7:34pm - love - by dammitvasquez - Canada

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (19817) - you deserved it (2851) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

#14309461 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (25399) - you deserved it (1830)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:48am - misc - by Username - Canada

Today, as I spent my last $6 on groceries, the woman at the register gave me a dirty look because I declined to donate $1 to a children's charity. My six year old son immediately chimed in with, "Mommy, why aren't you helping the poor children?" FML

#14220107 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (28330) - you deserved it (3658)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

#13717829 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you deserved it (5325)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (2104)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fainted because of a condition I have. My husband, who was standing right there, failed to catch me because he didn't want to drop his yogurt. FML

#13422951 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (2643)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:52pm - health - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28798) - you deserved it (7269)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I paid for my shopping at a self paying checkout. I had a lot of shopping and there was a big line. When I scanned my last item, the machine read out, "EXTRA SMALL LUBRICATED DUREX CONDOMS." FML

#12679299 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (25274) - you deserved it (16102)

On 08/22/2010 at 5:37am - intimacy - by YogiBear - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

#12438687 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (19323) - you deserved it (8801)

On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized my name in French means 'penis'. This wouldn't be as bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (31624) - you deserved it (2335)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

#7450090 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (2788) - you deserved it (51568)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by embareassed (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He was quiet, I heard barking in the background. FML

#6650131 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (30430) - you deserved it (3026)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:20pm - love - by WoofWoof (woman) - United States (Michigan)