This member hasn't filled in the description.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8786) - you deserved it (22147)
On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada
Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (2124)
On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15384) - you deserved it (1194)
On 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3500) - you deserved it (34114)
On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6217) - you deserved it (34276)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18856) - you deserved it (2692)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5594) - you deserved it (22192)
On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)
Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20337) - you deserved it (2069)
On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16307) - you deserved it (1979)
On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11023) - you deserved it (23316)
On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7637) - you deserved it (28352)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17959) - you deserved it (1371)
On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16740) - you deserved it (1182)
On 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by AngryLittleMan - United States
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (39874) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (2101)
On 02/24/2012 at 8:26am - kids - by Joanne (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
