Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

chrisamagod

Search for a member

chrisamagod
  • Town/Country : Auborn, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 September 1983 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 782
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About chrisamagod : army

chrisamagod's last visitors

FreezeSapphireSympathyFrecklesXOyourmurderscenexMagicShyStarsxxlaine13xxsugarr0babby0glitterbabe224FierceeeeeeeKategreyy_gooooseSweetest_Cherry

chrisamagod's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

chrisamagod's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML

#14254809
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38703) - you deserved it (3245)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:14am - love - by fouryearswasted - United States

Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML

#14242742
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (2533)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:56am - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML

#14126136
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5695) - you deserved it (23193)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm - misc - by bullseyed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42290) - you deserved it (13768)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

#12326152
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7523) - you deserved it (39705)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Somethingswrongwiththispic (woman) - United States

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

#12077733
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9332) - you deserved it (31440)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by tstaeger (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10722) - you deserved it (44046)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

#6971374
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28299) - you deserved it (6810)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:19am - love - by porkythighs (woman) - Singapore

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

#6644782
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9213) - you deserved it (32905)

On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my friend how I liked this girl but was too scared to ask her out. He told me "Why? The worst she's going to do is say no." Building confidence I approached her and asked her on a date. Then she replied "Get away douchebag!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#4423387
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53361) - you deserved it (4236)

On 08/10/2009 at 5:20am - love - by Rejected (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41989) - you deserved it (25192)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

#2406787
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17863) - you deserved it (41510)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

#2111362
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9091) - you deserved it (53025)

On 05/20/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by fihifgni210 - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commerical. FML

#984041
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40892) - you deserved it (22004)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: