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chris_hitchings

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chris_hitchings

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  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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chris_hitchings's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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chris_hitchings's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29567) - you deserved it (3299)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32773) - you deserved it (10602)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17389) - you deserved it (51343)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34643) - you deserved it (3742)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37357) - you deserved it (3269)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38608) - you deserved it (3861)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45820) - you deserved it (5302)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

#21221108
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37082) - you deserved it (5399)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my sister stole my phone, pretended to be me, and tried breaking up with my boyfriend. FML

#21221072
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40329) - you deserved it (3807)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36641) - you deserved it (15002)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (20232)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

#21219077
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40685) - you deserved it (7626)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

#21218616
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31576) - you deserved it (17695)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm - health - by ThunderThighs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38096) - you deserved it (4396)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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