Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

choppedNskrewed

Search for a member

choppedNskrewed

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 81636
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

choppedNskrewed's page activity

Visits<b>brittanyavido</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 9:19am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 10:31pm<b>como_un_jefe</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 4:11pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:20pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 04/01/2011 at 6:42pm<b>abradant_spoon</b> - the 01/08/2010 at 12:52am<b>snoosnoo</b> - the 01/04/2010 at 8:54am<b>stung_09</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 1:02pm<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 7:57am<b>brianflinn</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 6:07pm<b>wairdt</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:32pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:07pm<b>innnadaze</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 1:52pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 9:35am<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 10:12pm<b>scottyz1</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 9:24pm<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 5:52pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 4:21pm

choppedNskrewed's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

choppedNskrewed's favorite FMLs

Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML

#470055
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33433) - you deserved it (87905)

On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

#464329
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22610) - you deserved it (51146)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:47am - love - by Fish (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138616) - you deserved it (8565)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

#459925
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82189) - you deserved it (15032)

On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML

#459732
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83250) - you deserved it (9570)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by notenoughsex (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML

#458793
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9893) - you deserved it (89994)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by skywayavenue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31345) - you deserved it (138230)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

#429248
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31921) - you deserved it (84857)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML

#409168
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95111) - you deserved it (7666)

On 03/17/2009 at 8:16am - money - by Recon (man) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42574) - you deserved it (191596)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

#407679
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (57789)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136685) - you deserved it (36874)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176162) - you deserved it (34476)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53099) - you deserved it (31888)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: