Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

choppedNskrewed

Search for a member

choppedNskrewed

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 81504
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

choppedNskrewed's page activity

Visits<b>brittanyavido</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 9:19am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 10:31pm<b>como_un_jefe</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 4:11pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:20pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 04/01/2011 at 6:42pm<b>abradant_spoon</b> - the 01/08/2010 at 12:52am<b>snoosnoo</b> - the 01/04/2010 at 8:54am<b>stung_09</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 1:02pm<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 7:57am<b>brianflinn</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 6:07pm<b>wairdt</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:32pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:07pm<b>innnadaze</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 1:52pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 9:35am<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 10:12pm<b>scottyz1</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 9:24pm<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 5:52pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 4:21pm

choppedNskrewed's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

choppedNskrewed's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML

#806381
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62185) - you deserved it (3272)

On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

#797956
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94944) - you deserved it (41713)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71019) - you deserved it (18395)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71019) - you deserved it (18395)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, for april fools day, my entire class decided to prank our religion teacher. During our daily meditation time, while his eyes were closed, we slowly got out of our seats and left the classroom. Two minutes later he opened his eyes, locked us out, and called the dean to give us all detention. FML

#760336
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18295) - you deserved it (70076)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by aprilfooled (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

#742417
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15966) - you deserved it (153010)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

#722108
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20755) - you deserved it (67279)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129499) - you deserved it (14556)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

#717975
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24385) - you deserved it (82523)

On 03/31/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Alex (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

#711978
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101289) - you deserved it (5268)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105562) - you deserved it (7801)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

#694537
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86317) - you deserved it (34422)

On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14463) - you deserved it (180174)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on bed watching tv. He gets up at one point and turns the light off and I asked him why. He said "You look better in the dark". FML

#680104
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75359) - you deserved it (5400)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:41pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (New York)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: