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choppedNskrewed

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choppedNskrewed

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  • Number of visits : 81506
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>brittanyavido</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 9:19am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 10:31pm<b>como_un_jefe</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 4:11pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:20pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 04/01/2011 at 6:42pm<b>abradant_spoon</b> - the 01/08/2010 at 12:52am<b>snoosnoo</b> - the 01/04/2010 at 8:54am<b>stung_09</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 1:02pm<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 7:57am<b>brianflinn</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 6:07pm<b>wairdt</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:32pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:07pm<b>innnadaze</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 1:52pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 9:35am<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 10:12pm<b>scottyz1</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 9:24pm<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 5:52pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 4:21pm

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choppedNskrewed's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26877) - you deserved it (95664)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98803) - you deserved it (22695)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water only to see my 75 year old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asks me if we have any coffee creamer. FML

#1678195
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43736) - you deserved it (2424)

On 05/05/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

#1653487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45764) - you deserved it (3361)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25750) - you deserved it (69836)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

#1628197
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25434) - you deserved it (67161)

On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97139) - you deserved it (267351)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family was talking about how people's hair goes gray when they get old. My grandma mentioned that she was initially attracted to my grandpa because of his red hair and was sad when it turned gray. "It's ok," she continued, "his pubic hair is still red." FML

#1378571
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66379) - you deserved it (3723)

On 04/27/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said "hey I love your jacket, where'd you get that?". I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere". FML

#1288123
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17477) - you deserved it (56761)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by cole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

#1259883
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35347) - you deserved it (26697)

On 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by NotAmericanIdol (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23312) - you deserved it (73371)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

#1243795
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10055) - you deserved it (74981)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:11pm - misc - by brob56 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me, the reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML

#1226975
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56066) - you deserved it (11419)

On 04/22/2009 at 4:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend stopped making out with me to watch a thirty minute infomercial on the Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML

#1221446
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54563) - you deserved it (6480)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:02pm - love - by T-Pain (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML

#1188952
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41543) - you deserved it (10367)

On 04/21/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Jesus (man) - United States (Maine)



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