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choppedNskrewed

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choppedNskrewed

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  • Number of visits : 81494
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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choppedNskrewed's page activity

Visits<b>brittanyavido</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 9:19am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 10:31pm<b>como_un_jefe</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 4:11pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:20pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 04/01/2011 at 6:42pm<b>abradant_spoon</b> - the 01/08/2010 at 12:52am<b>snoosnoo</b> - the 01/04/2010 at 8:54am<b>stung_09</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 1:02pm<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 7:57am<b>brianflinn</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 6:07pm<b>wairdt</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:32pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:07pm<b>innnadaze</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 1:52pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 9:35am<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 10:12pm<b>scottyz1</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 9:24pm<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 5:52pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 4:21pm

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choppedNskrewed's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43735) - you deserved it (5876)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to play the role of superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

#2769644
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72636) - you deserved it (6577)

On 06/10/2009 at 11:46am - misc - by superman_not (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

#2405054
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49964) - you deserved it (8232)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18520) - you deserved it (87842)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

#2078869
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16969) - you deserved it (65125)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15428) - you deserved it (51712)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31937) - you deserved it (141342)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16994) - you deserved it (94749)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while teaching English in Korea, my boss gave me a birthday present from her and all of my co-workers. It was a really fancy box. It had very nice wrapping. It had a pretty bow. It was kind of heavy. It was 6 bottles of dandruff shampoo. FML

#1892907
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43819) - you deserved it (7776)

On 05/13/2009 at 12:39am - work - by eslteacher (man) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

#1881658
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10477) - you deserved it (53924)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

#1864532
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56147) - you deserved it (2728)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)



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