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choliei

Offline (the 03/30/2014 at 7:48pm) | Search for a member

choliei

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 40
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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choliei's favorite FMLs

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45118) - you deserved it (4731)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
107 comments

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42445) - you deserved it (4927)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

#21117346
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39580) - you deserved it (4894)

On 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by burnmyeyes (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49059) - you deserved it (4132)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51869) - you deserved it (4690)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49655) - you deserved it (6231)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

#20932462
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36232) - you deserved it (8639)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45299) - you deserved it (3427)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72783) - you deserved it (7204)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38940) - you deserved it (5367)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (3435)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36016) - you deserved it (1639)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (3994)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35896) - you deserved it (2594)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)



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