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chocomilkshake

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chocomilkshake
  • Town/Country : phoenix, united states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 552
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chocomilkshake : woo I already knew it was a friday but thats still pretty cool

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chocomilkshake's favorite FMLs

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

#18531545
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (4820)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm - love - by agony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? His best mate got dumped yesterday and my boyfriend thought it would be 'more fun' to be 'single lads together'. FML

#18513087
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25770) - you deserved it (2509)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:00pm - love - by dumped (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

#18510240
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16019) - you deserved it (3734)

On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

#18479274
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23798) - you deserved it (3612)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - work - by Poorman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40423) - you deserved it (4421)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (50656)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (4807)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33489) - you deserved it (5165)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

#18374198
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45247) - you deserved it (3478)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

#18374198
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45247) - you deserved it (3478)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32915) - you deserved it (5849)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

#18200183
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26417) - you deserved it (11438)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML

#18048344
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (2549)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:16pm - misc - by Bree - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22343) - you deserved it (3498)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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