chocomilkshake

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chocomilkshake

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 17 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1434
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chocomilkshake : woo I already knew it was a friday but thats still pretty cool

chocomilkshake's page activity

Visits<b>alexis8525</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 8:04pm<b>KitzaKid69</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:28am<b>JRFaceless</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 6:01am<b>biasedshooter</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 2:58pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 12:27pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/17/2013 at 4:34pm<b>danielle25</b> - the 09/17/2012 at 7:28pm<b>romi2212</b> - the 06/02/2012 at 12:39am<b>lmc94</b> - the 06/02/2012 at 12:38am<b>Ugi</b> - the 04/23/2012 at 5:02pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/27/2011 at 7:09pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 12/19/2011 at 11:38pm<b>KS9</b> - the 12/18/2011 at 10:23am

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chocomilkshake's favorite FMLs

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

by agony / 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? His best mate got dumped yesterday and my boyfriend thought it would be 'more fun' to be 'single lads together'. FML

by dumped / 12/14/2011 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

by annoyed / 12/14/2011 at 9:06am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

by Poorman / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

by mattdevil / 12/08/2011 at 1:57pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward / 12/06/2011 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

by nirvana_mama157 / 11/28/2011 at 7:51am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

by nirvana_mama157 / 11/28/2011 at 7:51am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my parents got a call from my English teacher. She told them that I have 14 days of detention because I've been cutting class. I've been there every day, but apparently she never noticed me. FML

by Bree / 10/22/2011 at 7:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Virginia) / Animals