こんにちは！私は日本からです！（＾＿＾）
I wish the FML have Japan version...
Please also excuse me for the gramer
Please do not eat me >o<
良い一日を！
Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14923) - you totally deserved it (2756)
On 11/06/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ShittyKeys (man) - United States (California)
Today, a milkbone commerical came on TV. At the end of the commercial, they whistle and throw a milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100 lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and pummel my brand new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25902) - you totally deserved it (2142)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML
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On 11/03/2009 at 6:02am - money - by I_Lossed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML
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On 10/27/2009 at 12:43pm - work - by yper (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
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On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19607) - you totally deserved it (2129)
On 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)
Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12152) - you totally deserved it (3709)
On 10/25/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by mack (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got chewed out at work when my supervisor showed up, because my coworkers told my supervisor they couldn't find me for an hour and a half. Why couldn't they find me? Because they'd left to go get coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18112) - you totally deserved it (757)
On 10/21/2009 at 1:40am - work - by wrongtarget (man) - United States
Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28136) - you totally deserved it (2046)
On 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm - misc - by Twinner (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I found out my boyfriend only dates me because I look a bit like his favourite porn star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7870) - you totally deserved it (1433)
On 10/11/2009 at 6:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)
Today, my fiance was performing oral on me. I was really getting into it, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. When asked, he confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML
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On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML
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On 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by pummy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and proceeded to talk about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9467) - you totally deserved it (1115)
On 09/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by NiHao (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML
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On 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Non-active (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
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On 09/25/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Needasafe1234 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
