Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5464
  • Number of comments : 380
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chlorinegreen : If you feel the need you may message me but I don't reply often.
Have a wonderful day other FMLers!


chlorinegreen's page activity

Visits<b>madi113</b> - 2 hours ago<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - 12 hours ago<b>venomousflower</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:11pm<b>Mike3399</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 11:21am<b>Zman2017</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:34pm<b>peachbutt</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:31pm<b>jubejube239</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:05am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 8:22am<b>wakemeupplease</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:54pm<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 9:54pm<b>Nexa</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:14am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:16pm<b>ShadowGenius</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:16am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 4:09am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:24am<b>Whoop_whoop</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:41am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:39am

Liked!<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:52pm<b>faraz9325</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:06am<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 6:14pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:30pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:18pm<b>alphasmartass93</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 7:37pm<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 7:12pm<b>zeklen</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 4:58pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 2:29pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 9:34am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 1:01am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:05pm<b>IamHercules</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:53pm<b>DanboiRowe</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:09am<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:39am<b>RA91</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:16pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:32am

chlorinegreen's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of chlorinegreen's badges

chlorinegreen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cashiering at Walmart, when a customer picked open a cold-sore on her lip before trying to give me her money with the same hand. When I freaked out and refused to take her money, she started screaming and threatening to sue me for "violating the First Amendment." FML


I agree, your life sucks (22137) - you deserved it (2733)

On 07/21/2012 at 5:14pm - work - by artdegreemyass (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20870) - you deserved it (2136)

On 06/16/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by gabby - United States

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

Today, I photoshopped a picture for my Facebook profile so my stomach would look a little flatter. I came back later, only to find someone had said, "What in God's name is this? Is your belly duck-facing?" and half a dozen other insults. FML


I agree, your life sucks (6499) - you deserved it (38537)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Cam (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (14992) - you deserved it (27697)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14493) - you deserved it (25356)

On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17647) - you deserved it (45340)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33631) - you deserved it (2062)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you deserved it (5104)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21233) - you deserved it (1877)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27313) - you deserved it (3966)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11391) - you deserved it (42593)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (18827)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29791) - you deserved it (3648)

On 02/06/2012 at 12:50am - love - by bluesox4 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (28796) - you deserved it (2040)

On 02/06/2012 at 12:35am - love - by hudd357mag (man) - United States

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: