chlorinegreen

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Offline (the 05/05/2016 at 11:26pm)

chlorinegreen

61Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7496
  • Number of comments : 388
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chlorinegreen : If you feel the need you may message me but I don't reply often.
Have a wonderful day other FMLers!

Sarah

chlorinegreen's page activity

Visits<b>daisy2013</b> - 7 minutes ago<b>Noobish_Elk</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 7:16pm<b>Nvsmith</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 11:30am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 7:11am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 10:55pm<b>whydough</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 6:18am<b>KyleRen</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 8:37pm<b>rissamarie</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 1:42pm<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 2:38am<b>garciat1998</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 7:27pm<b>timinator5000</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 7:21am<b>ExtremeEncounter</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:17am<b>lujainkh</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 8:37pm<b>chuka81</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 12:00pm<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 8:28am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:25pm<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 3:36pm<b>MindGames</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:51am

Fucked!<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 1:11pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 11:27am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 11:13pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 8:41pm<b>refticon</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:33pm<b>stfuwtf</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:07am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:17pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:47pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 4:43pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:59pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:12am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:47am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 9:20am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Isak366</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 5:34pm<b>Beau_Henry</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:31am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 8:29pm<b>ayyecj</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:50pm

chlorinegreen's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of chlorinegreen's badges

chlorinegreen's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML

by missedout / 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

by facepalm / 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

by FUCK GOD / 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm / Argentina (Salta) / Love

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm / Australia / Love

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

by fatty milkshakes / 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm / United States / Health

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

by notsuperstitious / 01/24/2013 at 11:37am / Finland / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

by normal / 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

by thanksforthat / 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health