chlorinegreen

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chlorinegreen

67Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8258
  • Number of comments : 388
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chlorinegreen : If you feel the need you may message me but I don't reply often.
Have a wonderful day other FMLers!

Sarah

chlorinegreen's page activity

Visits<b>johnnybball</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 10:56pm<b>Bullshitticus</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 3:08am<b>Arnvs</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 1:44am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 11:33pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 11:29pm<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 3:58pm<b>Bibzy</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 2:29pm<b>gorgonkiller15</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 4:15pm<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 5:28pm<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 8:13pm<b>Hutchie931</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 7:33am<b>Whatapuffchild</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 3:57pm<b>1DisGR8</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 11:36am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/28/2016 at 8:14am<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 7:40pm<b>ryfri</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 9:31am<b>joeyl2008</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 7:51pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 10:15am

Fucked!<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 09/03/2016 at 9:59pm<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 5:36am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 9:32pm<b>csjc</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 3:10pm<b>Talented73</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 1:43pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 11:34am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 1:11pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 11:27am<b>Helldemon</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 11:13pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 8:41pm<b>refticon</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:33pm<b>stfuwtf</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:07am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:17pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:47pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 4:43pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:59pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:12am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:47am

chlorinegreen's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of chlorinegreen's badges

chlorinegreen's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML

by missedout / 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

by facepalm / 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

by FUCK GOD / 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm / Argentina (Salta) / Love

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm / Australia / Love

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

by fatty milkshakes / 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm / United States / Health

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, I realised that my friend hasn't spoken to me for a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using my star-sign to explain my behaviour. FML

by notsuperstitious / 01/24/2013 at 11:37am / Finland / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

by normal / 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

by thanksforthat / 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health