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chlorinegreen

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chlorinegreen

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4690
  • Number of comments : 360
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chlorinegreen : My name is Sarah
I'm 23
My grammar sucks
If you feel the need you may message me but I don't reply often.
Have a wonderful day other FMLers!

Sarah

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chlorinegreen's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML

#21318814
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20022) - you deserved it (3052)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by thankssomuch - United States (Maine)

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

#21317384
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (4842)

On 12/14/2014 at 3:28pm - animals - by I'm Trading Up For A Dog (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (4092)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

#21314569
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30979) - you deserved it (3249)

On 12/09/2014 at 5:39pm - kids - by SickMaMa - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35271) - you deserved it (4077)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML

#21312671
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30668) - you deserved it (2948)

On 12/06/2014 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40468) - you deserved it (2725)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33707) - you deserved it (5332)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

#21293677
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29561) - you deserved it (13350)

On 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm - animals - by dwood08 - United States (New York)

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML

#21293619
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (3622)

On 11/06/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by really - United States

Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML

#21293428
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26466) - you deserved it (33342)

On 11/06/2014 at 2:09pm - work - by NoJobNovember - United States (Ohio)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, while at the bakery, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML

#21245941
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33254) - you deserved it (3890)

On 08/26/2014 at 6:55pm - misc - by Lika1712 (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41150) - you deserved it (3511)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)



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