chloebelle_k

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chloebelle_k

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 February 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2070
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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chloebelle_k's page activity

Visits<b>binbin05</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:55pm<b>afriendlyanon</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 3:17pm

chloebelle_k's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of chloebelle_k's badges

chloebelle_k's favorite FMLs

Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about it. My brother ended up saying "If god doesn't want me to jerk off, how come he made my knob the perfect shape to fit in my hand?" I burst out laughing and now we're both grounded. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 4:38am / Intimacy

Today, my best friend asked if car oil could be used as a substitute for lube. I need new friends. FML

Today, I woke up at 3:45 am, and got ready to leave my house before 5, since I needed to be at my new job for orientation at 6. When I got there, I realized they actually meant 6 pm. FML

by SeriouslyEvery / 08/11/2016 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was flirting with a really cute girl and we ran out of things to say, I got so nervous with the silence that I asked her if she had hiccuped lately. FML

Today, my grandfather gave me a whole box of records to go with my new record player. When I thanked him, he said he'd been needing to get rid of them anyway because classical music makes him horny. I definitely didn't need to know that. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2016 at 11:43am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML

by Funyearahead / 08/08/2016 at 8:44am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were brushing our teeth, standing side by side. We both have a sympathy gag reflex. He brushed his tongue and gagged, which caused me to gag. So we had a never ending gag-fest until we both began throwing up and couldn't stop until one of us could manage to hold it in. FML

by StateOfEuphoria / 07/24/2016 at 6:52pm / United States (Mississippi) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom figured that the best time to announce that I'm adopted was during her speech at my wedding. FML

by DidNotExpectThat / 07/18/2016 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in the hospital after my sister saved me from "hanging" myself. In reality, my sister choked me because I ate her last chicken nugget. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2016 at 9:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into labor. I called my mother to ask her to drive me to the hospital. She wanted me to wait for her to take a nap first. FML

Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML

by Foot In Mouth / 07/12/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML

by meowymomma / 06/25/2016 at 3:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I told the cute girl in my office that she looked like she listened to country music, as an icebreaker. She blankly stared at me for what felt like forever, and responded with, "That's the worst thing you could say to a person," and walked away. She hasn't talked to me since. FML

by Crushgonewrong / 06/22/2016 at 5:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I asked my little cousin if he had a girlfriend if he had a girlfriend. “Yes,“ he said. “Two, but I’m going to keep the one with the biggest boobs.“ He’s 7. FML

by Pseudo / 06/21/2016 at 1:33am / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Kids

Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2016 at 1:07pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of) / Miscellaneous