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chizzam

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chizzam
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 456
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chizzam : Hi Im not really sure what i want to put here yet so yeah

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chizzam's favorite FMLs

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (34639) - you deserved it (10125)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (12300) - you deserved it (19209)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

#16435078 (516)

I agree, your life sucks (11786) - you deserved it (53704)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by chickennbenchpress (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

#16326196 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (28759) - you deserved it (5656)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (16773) - you deserved it (28913)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was watching a movie online. There was a 15 minute ad. 13 minutes into watching an ad about birth control, I noticed that there was a "skip this ad" button in the corner. FML

#15949369 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (9265) - you deserved it (33961)

On 04/27/2011 at 2:33pm - misc - by popcorn - United States (California)

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (8912)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

#15843459 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (29951) - you deserved it (11397)

On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

#15793137 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (13499) - you deserved it (19000)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:47am - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

#15773415 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (36454) - you deserved it (4882)

On 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by FrOsTy25 -

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

#15749213 (872)

I agree, your life sucks (55421) - you deserved it (9688)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727 (696)

I agree, your life sucks (40536) - you deserved it (3899)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (3591)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

#15637668 (305)

I agree, your life sucks (29791) - you deserved it (15378)

On 04/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by lynn777 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

#15631458 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (22647) - you deserved it (4995)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)



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