Search for a member

Offline (the 08/22/2014 at 8:05am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1767
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chizzam : Hi Im not really sure what i want to put here yet so yeah

chizzam's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:33pm<b>Evii</b> - the 04/08/2011 at 8:25pm<b>bella789</b> - the 03/31/2011 at 7:18am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 02/17/2011 at 12:39am<b>mesnugglez</b> - the 12/08/2010 at 8:05pm<b>Lisa_Gaskarth</b> - the 12/08/2010 at 8:26am<b>vasya</b> - the 12/07/2010 at 12:05pm<b>BelleElle</b> - the 10/14/2010 at 9:33am

chizzam's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of chizzam's badges

chizzam's favorite FMLs

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

by Username / 06/01/2011 at 8:35am / Canada / Work

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

by chickennbenchpress / 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

by BurnedByAWaiter / 05/24/2011 at 9:59am / Miscellaneous

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was watching a movie online. There was a 15 minute ad. 13 minutes into watching an ad about birth control, I noticed that there was a "skip this ad" button in the corner. FML

by popcorn / 04/27/2011 at 2:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

by alopez1994 / 04/21/2011 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

by randa / 04/19/2011 at 2:38am / Kids

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

by spiderwoman / 04/15/2011 at 7:47am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Animals

Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML

by FrOsTy25 / 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

by Artic / 04/12/2011 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

by nerdsgetmehot / 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

by notacreeper / 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm / Love

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

by lynn777 / 04/04/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation